I want to be closer

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As I rise with sun this morning, my soul rises with hope. I have had a bit of a rough week and my soul has struggled through day by day. I am learning to cherish the struggle of my soul because it always produces good things in me.I tend to be avoidant and resistant to struggle and yet yearn for growth. It’s such a battle that happens within me every day. I am learning that it is in the struggles that I find out more of the mysterious nature of God and how He loves me. It’s in my seeking that He shows Himself to me in wonderfully intimate ways.

It’s funny to think of how God sits with me in my struggles, just like a patient and loving parent. I can envision a child who resists and fights and cries to avoid being buckled into the car seat. God, as the parent, patiently, graciously, and lovingly is present with the child. He allows them the space and time to struggle through the resistance and avoidance. He allows their voice of protest to be heard and validated. He listens actively to the fears and frustrations. When the child finally succumbs to reality, He gently hoists them into their seat, buckling them in. He leans in and nurturingly kisses their forehead with a loving chuckle filled with eternal knowledge and unconditional love.

That is where my soul is this morning! Hope seems to be a theme for me recently. I find that when it appears it’s a bit like an ethereal fog that I know is there but can never quite grasp. One thing I know, God always shows up and always come through! It can be in big ways that are undeniable or small ways that bring hope. Today He calls to my soul through music.

I have been completely entrenched in Shawn McDonald’s new album, Closer, this week. It seems to sing the words my soul feels, but can’t verbalize. So, today, I will write with the music in my soul!

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