Hi, my name is Lisa, and I am a blogger. I have been blogging for 6 months. It might be time for me to recognize my powerlessness over this crazy thing called blogging. Here’s the funny part…I used to really not like, enjoy, or acknowledge blogging. I had a lot of judgements and assumptions about the whole scene. Until the day came when I got the Little Shove on February 26th. I accidentally discovered a creative outlet that I am really passionate about.
In recovery, there comes a point where you sort of lose yourself for a little while. It’s like you lose the old you, which is a good thing, but the new you hasn’t been unearthed yet. So, you exist in this strange recovery limbo where you aren’t really sure how to respond, how to communicate, or how to relate. I think that is the stage of development I am in right now in my blogging world. My writing has changed, my habits have grown, and my creativity has been sparked in the last 6 months. But, I think I am still waiting for something to be unearthed in the process.
This may very well be where experience in recovery serves me well. I am completely ok with something, or someone, “in process.” Honestly, completed things and finish products somehow bring me angst. It might be because there are remnants of a perfectionist still living in me that ask ridiculous questions…like, “How can something be finished in a changing world?” or “How can someone have made every change, improvement, and growth they will ever make in their lifetime and not be dead?” My philosophy is that as long as I am breathing, I can grow, learn, and change.
So, I’m going to extend myself that grace today with my writing. I don’t have to know exactly what I am going to write about now. I’m still in process and ideas will present themselves each day. I need to take this blogging “one day at a time” for now and allow the process to create the freedom for what is to come. I can rest in my own bloggers version of the Serenity Prayer:
God grant me the serenity
to accept the things I cannot write;
courage to write about the things I can;
and wisdom to know the difference.
Writing one day at a time;
Enjoying one post at a time;