“Feeling undone” is a new phrase I’ve adopted and often use, which actually is a really good thing. It usually refers to those moments when God somehow steps into my world and shows Himself in visceral ways. It can be as simple as that divine nudge in my spirit or as insane as watching Him answer prayers within minutes of praying them. It’s especially true when He moves without me asking and answers prayers I never prayed! In those moments when I have the awareness that He is present, it just leaves my spirit feeling undone. I love those moments because it increases my faith and strengthens my relationship with God.
Recently, I’ve had a few weeks of constantly “feeling undone.” I recognize that God cares about every detail of my life and He is not only interested, but involved. It has reminded me that our existence is only temporary. The things in my life that seem like such important things really fade away in the moments that I am “feeling undone” and I can see them from a different perspective. How easily we get attached to things, or relationships, or attitudes, or jobs, or thoughts, or behaviors that we think bring us identity, value, and worth. We fight for those things with all of our strength and effort. We struggle, and work, and wrestle for things that are only temporary.
The choice between struggling for the temporary or “feeling undone” for things I don’t completely understand is becoming much more natural to me. Struggling for temporary things seems to never end and feels a lot like service. The reality is that when I choose to serve temporary things, I become their slave. Responding to God’s movement in my life is something that doesn’t always have logic, but is much more about relationship. My divine Creator chooses to step into my world and engage in my existence in ways that blows my mind. I can’t desire to be slave to anything, but am drawn into deeper relationship with Him.
I’d love to hear your stories and experiences of “feeling undone.”