Throwing the white flag

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Please tell me I’m not the only one who sometimes just feels like throwing up the white flag. Yesterday was one of those days where life just became too much and all I could do was throw up the white flag of surrender. Sadly, I’m not sure it was the productive kind of surrender. It was the kind of surrender where you can hardly breathe from the weight life is bearing down on your shoulders. It was one of those  moments where I could not stand under it anymore and I just threw my hands in the air and wanted to quit. It was the white flag that says, “I’m done. I have no more fight in me. Take me captive and torture me, if you must. I just cannot fight anymore.”

Yeah, it wasn’t pretty and I’m not terribly proud of it. It wasn’t until a couple of hours later the other white flag came out. The white flag of true surrender. The moment came where I realized the reason I was feeling crushed was because I was holding something that was too heavy for me and not mine to hold. I was reminded again of the beauty of my powerlessness in a new and fresh way. Such a great reminder to know that the weight of the world is not on my shoulders. In those moments that I forget and I allow the weight to settle in, it’s just sincere and honest surrender that relieves the weight. God is so good to take the weight, the responsibility, the problem, and the solution out of our hands. I needed to be reminded of how small I really am and how insignificant in the grand scheme of the universe my role is. I needed a good healthy dose of humility and I’m so grateful.

What have your white flag moments been like? Does your surrender look like throwing your hands up and quitting? Or does it look like laying down pride and giving the power back to God? For me, at the end of the day I threw two white flags. One that said I wanted to quit and the other that enabled me to say, “Let’s get started!”

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